What I love, I destroy.

This is Tyki's handy dandy 'How's my driving post'. If you have questions, concerns, would like to offer criticism regarding his characterisation, or want to plot, feel free to contact me via IM/Email (info can be found on the profile page) or leave a comment here.

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It's too warm for December. I don't like indecisive weather. Untangle yourselves, autumn and winter, if you please? It's confusing everyone.

Oh they've lit the gigantic tree~

( Gift delivery to Lust and Desmond )

( Hibernation )

Pet, how does Indian sound?

Woman on the chair, a pool of blood on the floor. I may have crushed something. Her fault for failing to comply with my request to stop whimpering. Yes, it was a boy; and no, he'll never become a famous pianist.

Time to go home.

Done. Going out to look for new gloves.

{Private}
It's going to be a girl. At least it felt like one. Who knows what kind of creature will actually come out when it's time.

So clever. So smart. Says he has read everything about me and 'the likes of me' in his ancestor's journals. Says what he has learnt from them is the reason he devoted himself to the old pesky art of exorcism - to rid the world of pond-lives like me. To make it a 'better' place.

I'm not sure what lies his great-grandpa wrote about me but the boy believes them all and - oh lovely reliable human nature - they have made them a wee bit curious. I could hear it in his voice. So here's the deal: On Halloween, he receives all the services his ancestor did and in return, he, the generous and magnanimous and powerful slayer of demons, will consider letting me walk free.

He will let me walk free?

I'll serve him. I know no secrets and I certainly cannot make metals precious. What I can do, however, is serve that cocky little bastard the final three hours of his fat earl uncle's life.

Exorcists. Even in this modern, 'enlightened' world they still haven't gone extinct. How curious and disappointing.

They haven't even learnt any new tricks. It's the same old litany, same old irritating blathering and the same old tools. Doesn't make me like you more, brave little delusional soldiers. Not even a little. If killing you has remained as easy as back in the day, I'll be really sad.

{Kane}
It was a joke, pet. A joke. I didn't forget you, I was just teasing. You're not answering your phone again and your apartment is empty.

Where did you run off to? I'm sorry. Come back?

God help you and me if you're with that Spiderdeus pervert.

{Private}
Hell aristocracy = jerks + insects + abject freakishness of your choice

{Asmodeus}
Hell King or not, if you sneak into his home and eat him, I will turn your insides out and feed them to the alley rats.

Patient A: Is there a contraceptive that works better than all known contraceptives - neutering excepted - used at the same time?

All three doctors: Why, yes, there is. Don't have sex.

{Kane}
Haven't heard from you in a while, pet. Lost yourself in your paintings? South America's a no go - sorry - but I found something that might make up for it.

Pick one~

One.
Two.
Three.
Four.

{Lust & her heathen toy boy}
It's this medical practice's policy to bill missed appointments. No exceptions, I'm afraid. A simple phone call to cancel next time would save you this kind of trouble.

Good little food shouldn't play around with summoning spells~. Especially not when it's not familiar with the language and doesn't know what it's summoning.

Ear-piercing screaming, throwing things at him, and invocations of the Name make a lad feel very unwelcome.

Whatever happened to good manners?

Awkward, awkward situation that.

I miss the gypsies of the old world. They were nasty, feisty and fought dirty which made them a source of seemingly endless amusement. However, I'm beginning to believe that they've become extinct, because this carnival didn't have any of that particular brand, either. Their assortment of man-sized stuffed animals was rather impressive, though.

Spicy and leaves-you-craving-for-more gypsy cuisine if off the menu. What now? French is too light, German too heavy, American too bland. Genuine Portuguese would be nice - reminds me of home. It's not the season for Indian yet - give that another couple of weeks.

How about Asian cuisine? That one goes with all seasons, doesn't it?

( Some characters have music and shiny pics )

Old woman - and by old I mean ancient, dried up, layers of dust in the channel old - enquired about IVF today.

Correct answers:
1. I would strongly advise against it, ma'am.
2. No offence, lady, but I wouldn't touch that with a ten-foot pole even if hell froze over.

Wrong answers:
1. Let us look into this matter.
2. I'll ask my colleagues.
3. We'll figure something out, ma'am.

Wrongest of all wrong answers: It's been done before. No reason why it can't be done again.

It shouldn't be done. If nature wanted her to have babies at that age, nature wouldn't have turned off her equipment fifteen years ago.

Surprise, surprise, the practice did not implode or shut down during my road trip across the country. Four weeks passed by more quickly than I'd anticipated, which just proves again that time flies when you're enjoying yourself.

I must admit that the Mid-West with all its picturesque small towns makes for a lovely vacation spot. Charming people. Friendly and helpful, too. It's almost sweet how easily they welcome strangers into their homes.

Add four to the chalkboard~